So, my dog eats my knickers. Disgusting, but true. He also eats socks, tissues, boxers and he used to eat guinea pig poop. But the knicker eating is the real bane of my life. I have to buy new pants every couple of weeks because he eats through them so damn fast. I’m not really 100% sure what it is about them that makes him want to eat them, but it’s bloody annoying, disgusting and EXPENSIVE!
So after putting away all the washing yesterday night I realised that I had no pants left. Whatever pants I had at the start of the week have been eaten by the blooming dog. Gone girl gone. I honestly don’t know how he does it or how we haven’t yet had to foot a massive vets bill from the sheer amount of knickers and other non-edibles that must have made their way through his digestive system, because believe me when I say he eats them, I mean he eats them all. He doesn’t just chew on them, or make a few holes, I mean he scoffs the lot. Lace trim and all.
And this isn’t a new phenomenon either. He started doing this only a few weeks after we brought him home… six years ago. It started with socks, but then he soon discovered tissues and then he moved on to the hardcore stuff, the underwear.
He will occasionally experiment and branch out with a bra (minus the wire), but his main staple has remained the same, socks and pants with a side of tissue.
And the most confusing thing is that he enjoys chomping down on CLEAN underwear, socks and tissues just as much as the dirty ones. If he was only foraging through the laundry basket for dirty items I suppose I could put it down to him just being a pervert, but he will happily spend an entire afternoon unravelling and consuming a fresh roll of toilet tissue or rifling through a freshly washed pile of clothes to find the socks and underwear.
So the big question is, is there a legitimate reason he has no shame in eating my pricey pants and foraging through everyone’s coat pockets for a stray tissue?
Well according to the internet (a 100% reliable source), dogs are considered to be extremely scent orientated. Apparently a dogs sense of smell is 10,000 times as acute as ours and they use this super sense to do lots of amazing things like communicate and interpret messages. Although I fail to see what message my dog is getting from my knickers?
Here’s the four top theories as to why dogs eat items like underwear:
- One internet website likened dogs to toddlers, in the sense that they like to steal items that will draw attention to them – i have no idea if this is a legitimate thing toddlers actually do. According to this same website a dog will think anything with your scent is a valuable item and will be drawn to it. Well they certainly weren’t cheap undies that’s for sure!
- Another helpful internet user put forth the idea that my dog thought he was actually doing me a favour! Well, I never! Apparently in the wild dogs will sometimes eat things to discard their smell and in turn repel predators. My dog is a Yorkshire Terrier. The most ‘wild’ he has ever seen is me the morning after a night out.
- The next theory suggested that he sees me as the pack leader – “In the wild, a more dominant-smelling animal is less likely to be approached by a predator, so your dog wants to mask their scent. Given that most dogs see their human as the pack leader, you are the obvious choice.” You would think that if he seen me as the pack leader he would bloody well listen to me when I tell him not to eat my pants!
- This last internet theory suggests that my dog simply wants to smell like me – “The dog and master bond is very special, and chances are you are the centre of your dog’s world. For this reason, your dog might simply just want to smell like you and thinks that by chewing on and eating your underwear he is absorbing the scent. Or it just makes him feel a little bit closer to you.” Awwww, my heart. Now I regret all the timeouts I’ve given him after I’ve found him nonchalantly chomping down on my knickers.
None of this has helped me actually uncover the real reason behind why dogs do this. I’m certainly not the dog whisperer. But if your dog has these disgusting habits too then fear not, you are not alone. Alternatively, if you have any suggestions on how to get him to stop doing this they would be most welcome. My back account thanks you in advance.